Just a nice Friday

Today I decided we would have a low-key day, as I have been feeling lately that I do way too much rushing of my girl. Even just to do fun stuff like meeting friends at the park still means I'm chivvying her into her shoes and organising snacks etc. So today we had no plans and I could let her meander along however she wanted.

So we got up at a civilised 7.45, had a nice relaxed breakfast and then pottered around doing laundry chores (me) and playing with various toys (her). We also put some bread on to bake in our fabulous new breadmaker which Abi always enjoys.

She started saying she wanted to "Ee my Vreya" (trans: see my friend Freya) so I texted her mum but sadly they were on the train to the city. Abi was philosophical and accepted a walk to find treasures culminating in a babycino and muffin with Mummy instead. We had a lovely walk and I was reminded how lucky I was to have this amazing child trotting along next to me commenting on everything, making agreeing noises when I talked and finding all kinds of interesting things to put into her special purple bag. She is such a joy, I am totally entranced by her.

Our favourite raspberry and white chocolate muffin was on offer at our local cafe, so we tucked in to one to share, although I almost wished I'd bought two as I had to move fast to get any of the delicious chocolate and raspberry bits. Then home for a delicious cuddly nap and up for a quick lunch before heading outside to play chase chase chase with bath baby. She recently got a new bath baby as the old one could no longer go in the bath, and she was very torn as to which baby would do the chasing. She tried various configurations; her holding old bath baby and running while I chased her with the new one; swapping babies; me holding both and making them run along the deck (oh my back...), but none really satisfied her. So I chased her for a while and then we went to check out the stones under the washing line.

Abi soon got involved in a game she invented herself where she scooped up the stones on a spade, carefully climbed the steps and walked across the deck to the bird bath before tipping the stones into the water. Then she would run back, carefully climb down the stairs and collect some more stones. This kept her busy for about 15 minutes and I was able to hang out the washing without needing to be involved at all. It reminded me of a story my mum tells about me at around the same age - we were down at Phillip Island and I spent 20 minutes scooping up sand in my spade and walking down to the water to drop it in. Mum said it was fantastic, she could sit and read her book, while glancing up to see me happy and occupied.

At one stage Abi fell on the stairs and said "Abi fall down, my rocks fall down" in a very sad voice. We had a cuddle and I was thinking how far her language has progressed over the last month or so. She uses 'my' all the time now so often her sentences are gramatically totally correct, like when she says "Where my drink of water?" Okay, she misses the is, but still a great sentence. I love chatting to her and I can understand everything she says now, which wasn't the case a couple of months ago.

Pregnancy is still going well. No real morning sickness, same as with Abi, but I do get hungrier and I can see a bit of a bump now too when I turn sideways. When I lie on my back I can feel the fundus too, that started at about 9 weeks. I don't have another appointment until July and as I'm only planning on one ultrasound, we've got a way to go before we see this little one. I don't really have any sense about whether it's a boy or girl; with Abi I thought she was a girl from the very beginning although I started to second guess myself towards the end. I don't think I can tap into the intuition properly this time because I'd really love a little boy especially as I'm pretty sure two is it for us. So I think that will influence any feelings I may have.

It's not a strong preference at all as I'd also love Abi to have a sister, so boy or girl is fine. I just want everything to be okay.

I feel right about stopping at two children. I'm so happy to be pregnant, but I don't really want to do it again, especially all the thinking about timing etc. I always thought I wanted three children, but I realised that what I really wanted was three grown-up children. As I would never want less than a three year gap having three would just mean the baby part would drag on for so long, really longer than I want to deal with. I'd like to go back to full-time Montessori teaching one day as well as do some further study and God knows I'm not getting any younger (37 in July).

So two is good. Two is perfect. Two for joy.