Saturday, November 6, 2010

It's all a bit of a grind, sometimes

Feeling a bit blah, over here at Silverpear.

Abi has got the what seems like thousanth in a long line of winter/spring colds. She had conjunctivitis early last week, which has cleared now thankfully, but she is snotty and can't hear properly. Unfairly, I find this endlessly irritating as she sniffs and says 'what?' after everything I say. For some reason, she absolutely refuses to say 'pardon' even though generally she is happy to use all other politenesses (is that a word?). She'll say please, thank you, excuse me and sorry, usually unprompted. Obviously at some stage I put too much stress on 'pardon' and it has now become a bit of a power struggle. She reckons she can't say it, but I have been telling her that yes she can, she is just choosing not to.

She thought about that for a while and has since (I think) whispered pardon a couple of times. I don't know why it's so important to me, guess I need to examine the reasons behind my button-pushedness a la Robin Grille, but who has the time for self-reflection? I would rather watch tv.

In Evie news she now has three teeth and is working on the fourth, so her sleeping has gone a bit to shit lately. Not anywhere near the gold-standard suckiness of her older sister's sleep efforts at the same age, but far from the lovely, manageable 9pm and 4am feeds of a couple of weeks ago. She is also still a real early bird, we are up by 6am every day. I can't tell you how much I hate this.

Wow, whinge whinge whinge. I love my children, I really do. Just at the moment though if I could talk to my 33 year old self, I'd be telling her to give the whole children thing a big miss. I miss my old life. I miss travelling and going out and actually talking and having physical contact with my husband and not having to narrate my every action for my darling three and a half year old who still finds Mummy endlessly fascinating.

I think one problem is I really don't get any time without at least one child. Right now is such a rarity; Evie is asleep and Abi is playing with DH. Evie will wake up soon, and luckily she always smells so divine as well as being all warm and kissable when she first gets up.

I don't want to ask any more of DH, I don't think his life is any easier than mine. He's been sick sick sick too and had other big stuff going on, but I am not bearing up well under my burdens right now. Makes our decision stop at two children very very easy to live with.

Sorry for downer post, but I guess it balances out all the sweetness and light of the monthly letters.