Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Letters to my girls
Darling little Evangeline Flora,
My little peach-girl, if we were Japanese I would have called you Momoko. As soon as you were born and I saw your dear little round face with its light covering of the softest of down I christened you my peach-perfect baby. I will never ever forget how blessed and joy-filled I felt on that day you were born and I could finally hold you in my arms. If I could keep only two days in my life, it would be the days you and your sister came into the world.
I am a little late with your first monthly letter, but I am just sneaking in before your Daddy writes your two month one. You have been such a wonderful little baby right from the beginning with your early smiles (three weeks) and your generally good night-sleeping. We have just had a few feeding problems - I think you are just too impatient to wait for your milk and it often makes you cross. We spent a couple of weeks feeding you Mummy's milk from a bottle, but we have stopped that now as I was worried you were getting much too keen on the fast-flowing plastic container...
So after a bumpy start, our breastfeeding relationship is improving and I know it will continue to get better as you get bigger and stronger. Your big sister has become resigned to sharing and likes to hold your hand and stroke your cheek as you both nurse in the early morning.
We think your eyes are going to be blue, but they are very dark - almost navy in some lights. At first we thought they might be brown like your Daddy's, but they seem to have settled into a very beautiful deep blue. You don't really look much like your sister or me, even though you have the same cupid's bow lips and dimpled chin. I think maybe you will look more like your daddy although you have the Goldie dimples when you smile. One thing you have definitely inherited from Daddy is a particular expression where you stare with huge eyes off to one side with your little mouth hanging open in what looks like puzzlement. My funny little thing.
And do you smile! Such a smiley little girl, especially when you first wake up. You hardly ever wake up crying, I know you are waking up when you start to wriggle and grunt like a little piglet. Then I pick you up and kiss your fragrant little cheek while you smile and continue wriggling energetically. I have even heard you chuckle in your sleep and I don't think it will be long before you add laughing to your adorable coo-ing noises.
Right now you are fast asleep on our shared bed with the fan going as it has been horribly hot and humid the last few days. This makes things difficult as you like to be with Mummy in the Hugabub or the Kozy, but then you just get too hot which makes you sad. So I put you down, and that makes you sad too. Most days you are very happy except when it is time for dinner, then you get a bit whingy and Daddy says, 'it must be Crank O'Clock again'.
I am going to finish now, my little love. Thank you for making our family complete.
Dear Abigail Pearl, the almost-three-year-old girl,
Oh my darling darling girl, you are nearly three. Three! I remember when you were three months and Daddy and I were enrolling you at your kinder, three years old seemed impossibly far away and grown-up. But, here we are and my love for you increases with everything new you do and learn.
It is hard to fit a year's worth of growth into one letter. This year you continued coming to work with me and you started attending music on a Wednesday with Daddy. You continued learning to talk, ask questions, disagree and describe how you were feeling. (Mummy, I a bit sad, I need a tuddle). You had your first Easter eggs, fell in love with your Auntie Lucy, looked forward to Christmas and became a big sister.
Sometimes I look at you and cannot believe such beauty can exist, especially, I'm sorry to say, when you are a bit sick as when your perfect pearly skin is flushed with fever you look completely ravishing. You like dressing up as a fairy now, and sometimes go shopping that way which causes you a few problems as everyone likes to talk to you about how lovely you look, but you are still working on becoming comfortable talking to people you don't know. Usually you ask me to help you and I say what you want to say for you. I know it won't be long before you are able to chat away to anyone you want to.
Soon you will be starting kinder and you are looking forward to it very much. You often talk to Daddy and me about all the things you will do, like learn to mit (knit), paint, count, cut up fruit and make lots of new friends. You always say that you will give your new friends "ots and ots of tuddles" - what lucky children, to have such a loving little girl as a friend. You know that Mummy will drop you off and come and pick you up later, and you seem very confident, but I am anticipating a few tears in our early weeks.
I am feeling sad and happy about kinder. Happy because I know it is a beautiful place for you to learn and grow and begin to make your own way, but sad because it is the end of our exlusive time together. Now you will start to move away from me into a brave new world of other children and wonderful teachers who will influence you during your next stage of growth. This is as it should be, but I have loved every moment of your first three years when you believed the sun rose and set with Mummy. You are such wonderful company, from our shared cup of tea/hot chocolate when we first get up, to when we snuggle up telling stories and singing songs at bedtime. And all the times in between when we sit together in cafes, go to the library, play in the park or you help me with the laundry, cleaning in the bathroom or washing windows.
It is time to start letting you go, but I will always always have you in my heart, because you are my heart. I love you effortlessly and forever with every breath and every dream.