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Hi! Hi? HELLOOOOO? Anyone still there?

Probably not. Never mind, here I am with a very late 5 month letter to my little peach.

Darling Evie,

Five months old, it's hard to believe. You are still just a little thing though; I think you have inherited your Daddy's metabolism, along with his impish face. You are also active, active, active, although you can't get around just yet, which causes you much frustration.

Let's see, what have you been doing this month? Lots of smiling and laughing as always and rolling rolling rolling. You like having a bath now too, which is handy, as they are a necessary part of a well-balanced baby's life. You kick so enthusiastically that you are actually quite hard to hold onto and I need to use two hands. This makes it tricky to actually wash you; you like to keep Mummy on her toes.

You chat and talk all the time now and make lots of funny noises, including "Da da da daaah DAAAA" in this deep, gruff voice which makes me laugh and laugh. You also say "Mumumumum" and I like to pretend you are saying Mummy.

Toys are lots of fun for you now, which is good as it makes the car less traumatic. You love your crinkly butterfly and your wooden ring best, as well as random kitchen items. Spoons are a big hit, and so far you don't seem too sad that there is no food on them.

You very rarely cry, unless ou are in the car or I am trying to get you dressed. Something about getting dressed makes you furious, although you never h old a grudge, which is nice. This month you have had your first cold, which turned into a little cough, but it wasn't too bad, luckily.

Unluckily for Mummy you have taken to waking up at 3am and deciding now is an excellent time to play. The first two nights I got up and bounced you on your beloved fitball, but after getting to 4,000 bounces on night two I decided this must stop and started bringing you out to lie on the fold out couch in the dark. You lie there and chat and coo until you get bored enough to go to sleep and I get to lie there and smell your beautiful little head and snuggle your chubby little body, so really, it's win-win.

Have to go now as you are awake and requiring my attention.

I love you so much precious one. Light of my eyes.

So much to say, so few free typing hands

I’m in that state where I have so much to write about that I’m actually kind of paralysed. Like when the Three Stooges all would try to get out the door at the same time, but would get stuck, so no-one went anywhere. That’s my brain right now, a Three Stooges movie. And I don’t even like them.


So. Kinder! Separation sadness! New friends! Fundraising! Car trips to kinder! Crying babies! Dummies! Easter! Horrible virus! Baby’s first cough! Date night! Parents buying new house! De-cluttering! Friends’ babies! Huge hail storm! Pomegranates! Breastfeeding!

See my problem here? Maybe now I’ve released the pressure I’ll be able to come back and write about some of this stuff in the next couple of days.

3 month letter to my peachy girl

Darling Evie Flora,



You are 3 months old. It is hard to believe that much time has passed since I saw your dear little squishy face for the first time, but you also seem to have been part of our family forever.

I adore you. There’s no other word that will do; adoration is what wells up inside me when I gaze into your astonishing navy eyes and watch them crinkle up into a smile. Nanny says you have such smiley eyes, and you really do. Your whole face gets involved when you smile; you really throw yourself into them, much to the admiration of everyone around you.

You are quite generous with your smiles, and bestow them graciously on anyone who comes to tickle your cheek and gurgle at you. This especially endears you to people in shops and at your big sister’s kinder and I happily bask in your reflected popularity. How clever I feel to have produced such a magnetic baby!

You have accomplished many things this month, including rolling from your tummy to your back, laughing, cooing and ‘talking’ up a storm and sleeping all night with just one feed! Well, the sleeping one only just happened last night, but very exciting all the same. You also hold your head and back up very strongly when you are on your tummy and you are trying hard to roll from your back to your tummy, but so far you can only make it onto your side. I don’t think it will be long though...

Unfortunately, you have to spend a fair bit of time in the car taking your sister to her new kinder, and you really do not appreciate this. You cry and cry, even though we got you a special purple dummy for car trips. You seem to quite like the dummy, but you will only have it in your mouth if someone is holding it there; as soon as the supporting hand is taken away, you immediately spit it out. Then you cry in a heartbreaking way.

We are finding ways to make it easier though. If I feed you and make sure you are rested and comfortable then you are often quite happy to sit in your car seat and look around. Abi chats to you and tells you not to worry, and you gaze interestedly at her and coo back. I am so sorry you have to be in the car so much, my darling one. I try to make the one-on-one time we have during kinder special enough to make up for all the driving.

I will finish this letter now, but I want to tell you that the best moment of my day is when I snuggle into bed with you tucked under my arm, or curled into my stomach, listening to your gentle sighs and breathing in the delectable scent rising from your little baldy head.

Oh my baby, my little love.

Love

Mummy

Birthday fun

Happy 3rd Birthday Abigail Pearl!











And just in case my peachy one feels left out...

Letters to my girls

Darling little Evangeline Flora,

My little peach-girl, if we were Japanese I would have called you Momoko. As soon as you were born and I saw your dear little round face with its light covering of the softest of down I christened you my peach-perfect baby. I will never ever forget how blessed and joy-filled I felt on that day you were born and I could finally hold you in my arms. If I could keep only two days in my life, it would be the days you and your sister came into the world.

I am a little late with your first monthly letter, but I am just sneaking in before your Daddy writes your two month one. You have been such a wonderful little baby right from the beginning with your early smiles (three weeks) and your generally good night-sleeping. We have just had a few feeding problems - I think you are just too impatient to wait for your milk and it often makes you cross. We spent a couple of weeks feeding you Mummy's milk from a bottle, but we have stopped that now as I was worried you were getting much too keen on the fast-flowing plastic container...

So after a bumpy start, our breastfeeding relationship is improving and I know it will continue to get better as you get bigger and stronger. Your big sister has become resigned to sharing and likes to hold your hand and stroke your cheek as you both nurse in the early morning.

We think your eyes are going to be blue, but they are very dark - almost navy in some lights. At first we thought they might be brown like your Daddy's, but they seem to have settled into a very beautiful deep blue. You don't really look much like your sister or me, even though you have the same cupid's bow lips and dimpled chin. I think maybe you will look more like your daddy although you have the Goldie dimples when you smile. One thing you have definitely inherited from Daddy is a particular expression where you stare with huge eyes off to one side with your little mouth hanging open in what looks like puzzlement. My funny little thing.

And do you smile! Such a smiley little girl, especially when you first wake up. You hardly ever wake up crying, I know you are waking up when you start to wriggle and grunt like a little piglet. Then I pick you up and kiss your fragrant little cheek while you smile and continue wriggling energetically. I have even heard you chuckle in your sleep and I don't think it will be long before you add laughing to your adorable coo-ing noises.

Right now you are fast asleep on our shared bed with the fan going as it has been horribly hot and humid the last few days. This makes things difficult as you like to be with Mummy in the Hugabub or the Kozy, but then you just get too hot which makes you sad. So I put you down, and that makes you sad too. Most days you are very happy except when it is time for dinner, then you get a bit whingy and Daddy says, 'it must be Crank O'Clock again'.

I am going to finish now, my little love. Thank you for making our family complete.

Love

Mummy



Dear Abigail Pearl, the almost-three-year-old girl,

Oh my darling darling girl, you are nearly three. Three! I remember when you were three months and Daddy and I were enrolling you at your kinder, three years old seemed impossibly far away and grown-up. But, here we are and my love for you increases with everything new you do and learn.

It is hard to fit a year's worth of growth into one letter. This year you continued coming to work with me and you started attending music on a Wednesday with Daddy. You continued learning to talk, ask questions, disagree and describe how you were feeling. (Mummy, I a bit sad, I need a tuddle). You had your first Easter eggs, fell in love with your Auntie Lucy, looked forward to Christmas and became a big sister.

Sometimes I look at you and cannot believe such beauty can exist, especially, I'm sorry to say, when you are a bit sick as when your perfect pearly skin is flushed with fever you look completely ravishing. You like dressing up as a fairy now, and sometimes go shopping that way which causes you a few problems as everyone likes to talk to you about how lovely you look, but you are still working on becoming comfortable talking to people you don't know. Usually you ask me to help you and I say what you want to say for you. I know it won't be long before you are able to chat away to anyone you want to.

Soon you will be starting kinder and you are looking forward to it very much. You often talk to Daddy and me about all the things you will do, like learn to mit (knit), paint, count, cut up fruit and make lots of new friends. You always say that you will give your new friends "ots and ots of tuddles" - what lucky children, to have such a loving little girl as a friend. You know that Mummy will drop you off and come and pick you up later, and you seem very confident, but I am anticipating a few tears in our early weeks.

I am feeling sad and happy about kinder. Happy because I know it is a beautiful place for you to learn and grow and begin to make your own way, but sad because it is the end of our exlusive time together. Now you will start to move away from me into a brave new world of other children and wonderful teachers who will influence you during your next stage of growth. This is as it should be, but I have loved every moment of your first three years when you believed the sun rose and set with Mummy. You are such wonderful company, from our shared cup of tea/hot chocolate when we first get up, to when we snuggle up telling stories and singing songs at bedtime. And all the times in between when we sit together in cafes, go to the library, play in the park or you help me with the laundry, cleaning in the bathroom or washing windows.

It is time to start letting you go, but I will always always have you in my heart, because you are my heart. I love you effortlessly and forever with every breath and every dream.

Love

Mummy

How to keep up?

Oh, not managing very well to keep this updated. cannot face typing one handed and almost always have small breastfeeding infant taking up one arm at present. Right now she is asleep in hugabub, but may wake up at any moment. I would also like to fit in a toilet stop at some stage, but such is my commitment to my small but select audience that here I am writing instead.

Right now, DH is still mostly at home, so am very much enjoying having him and his help with active toddler-type. Inf act, I have to say that I am finding the transition from one to two much easier than from zero to one. Partly because Evie is an easier baby than Abi was (apart from some feeding difficulties, more on that later) but I think it's just more about attitude. For example; I expect that Evie will sleep during the day in the sling or with me, when I can put her down in her rocker or on the bed, it's a bonus. And I never bother timing how long she's been asleep or trying to resettle her. Whereas with Abi, I expected she would sleep in her basket for a couple of hours at a time, so when she didn't and I had to carry her, it felt like an imposition. As DH said, I've already basically given up my life, so what's one more?

Of course, Evie isn't even six weeks yet, so still plenty of time for it all to go to crap, but right now...I'd say pretty cruisy really.

Except for - and this is a big exception - breastfeeding has been unexpectedly tricky. In spite of her perfect birth and great latch from the beginning, not to mention no jaundice and a healthy term baby, she didn't really put on any weight for the first three weeks. The MCHN couldn't understand it and neither could I - she latched well, seemed to be swallowing, wasn't fussy and unsettled during the day...what was going on? The nurse advised me to express feeds into a bottle to check my supply and ensure she was actually getting full feeds to see what happened. She terrified me by saying there could be some kind of metabolic disorder that was stopping her from processing her milk properly. Cue panicked weeping.

I really didn't think there was anything basically wrong with her, in spite of my panic, but I was worried obviously and spent the next four days milking myself like a cow as it seemed to work quicker than my hand pump. Next weigh in found that she had put on 220g in four days - massive sigh of relief from all concerned. So since then I've hired an electric pump from my ABA group and we have been doing a mix of EBM feeds and breast. She put on another 200g in the next week, so we have gone to basically breastfeeds in the morning and overnight with two or three bottles in the afternoon. We have another weigh-in next week, if she has continued to put on weight - and I think she has - then we'll try phasing out the bottles altogether, if she's stalled a bit then I'm going to look into a SNS line.

She is definitely more difficult to feed than Abi. Abi would attach wherever, whenever, not fussy about positions, just drained the breast and then came off when she was finished. Evie definitely prefers the right side, likes me to sit up, gets annoyed when the milk isn't flowing really quickly and requires me to do hand-compressions and comes on and off. Part of this may well be being made worse by the bottle feeds, which is why I'm keen to get rid of them. I'm also taking her for a craniosacral adjustment next week, so I'm hoping that will help with her endurance and maybe work on any stiffness issues she has from her fast passage into the world.

So we are working hard and I'm proud of my commitment. I also have a much greater understanding of breastfeeding difficulties and how it feels to not be able to feed your baby. This should stand me in good stead when I eventually qualify as an ABA breastfeeding cousellor.

See look! Looks like perfect breastfeeding doesn't it?

Ooh, baby waking. More pics later.