Happy {belated} birthday to me!

One week ago I turned 39. Eeek! I guess. Can't say I'm too fazed by it right now. I like my life, I like where I am and although looking back I'd do some things differently, mostly I am pretty content. I am disgustingly lucky generally with my husband, daughters, family, friends and work. Character flaws are a work in progress. If I had to list them I'd say my worst traits are laziness, disorganisation and a tendency to take the easy way out. I also over-commit to avoid disappointing people and/or having them think less of me. I'm poor at receiving criticism without getting defensive.

I try to see all these things clearly and aim to improve whenever I notice them. Sometimes feels a bit Sissyphean (sp?) though. Right now I am trying to root out passive-aggression and sarcasm, especially when I post in online forums. I don't do the facebook status thing anyway, and I am aiming to say exactly what I mean whenever I can.

Anyway, my birthday was lovely. My marvellous husband made me delicious garlic prawns and chocolate mousse for dinner and gave me silk pyjamas patterned with pearl necklaces and 2 months worth of yoga classes. He had some other things in mind also, but was stymied by my body giving me the birthday present of my period starting. That means I had an exactly 35 day cycle with a good clear ovulation, which bodes well for later, providing my plans come to fruition...

Don't know on that score yet. I am keeping my promise not to bring it up, and D hasn't either. He's probably hoping I've forgotten about it.

My mum gave me a real pearl necklace which I love. It has a flower and pearl clasp, which I was wanting to symbolise my girls - Abigail Pearl and Evangeline Flora. It's a bit fancier than I was envisaging, but I adore it anyway.

Anyway, going now. We lost our camera, but have just bought another one, so I'm going to post some pics soon.

Funny girl

Abi; on watching me pick cradle cap out of Evie's hair; "What's Evie got in her hair?"

Me: "Cradle cap."

Abi; next day; same situation; "Has Evie got some more...um...baby crap in her hair?"

Bit dangerous this one...

My darling husband foolishly kindly sent me this link recently. Be wary, my friends, before you follow that link. Cassie and Averil, I am looking in your direction. Okay, don't say I didn't warn you...

It has the most divine discounted designer clothes for children. I haven't even skimmed the surface yet and have already found so many things I MUST HAVE. And if your order comes to over $250 then shipping is free! Free! It would practically be a waste not to order a whole lot of stuff immediately.

We were away this weekend for more family birthday fun, but are heading off to playgroup tomorrow. I have lots of stuff to do (how is it th

at one night away creates so. much. washing?) and dinner is just about ready, so must go. But before I do...

I know!

Yes, yes, only three days in and already failing. But it's not my fault! Our big computer keeps freezing due to video-card-drivers-something-incompatible-something-something-nod-and-smile. So I am using DH's laptop tonight. When I get my iPad, all these problems will be a thing of the past. I expect you can get an Ap to write witty, touching blog posts for you. Excellent.

I am not much of a one for gadgets usually, but the iPad had me at demo. I can't wait. I adore my iPod and this will be even better. I am not getting one of those smart covers though as I don't trust them to protect my preshus from the vicissitudes of life in my handbag. I am getting something much sturdier, and sadly less pretty. Brown, black, charcoal or grey were my choices. Sigh. Am getting charcoal.

Yesterday we had cake, vegan and non vegan, for my dad and sister's (non vegan and vegan) birthday. We were at my brother's place and it was so good to see my little 2 month old nephew. He is a little blonde baldy, just like my brother was and is packing on the weight. 250g in a week! I was grateful for anything over 100 with Miss Evie Boo.

My girls were adorable. As a joke my brother suggested to Abi she might like to collect some of the leaves that had fallen down and were messing up the tidy inner-suburban courtyard. She then spent about 45 minutes carefully collecting them and putting them in a bucket which she then placed on the loungeroom floor. She clearly wondered why he would want them, but was happy to assist. Evie spent the same amount of time picking up little stones, putting them in a flower pot and then taking them out again. I wish our back yard was a bit less precipitous and they could play out there without me worrying about them falling down all the stairs. A little courtyard is definitely better than a hilly half an acre when you have pre-schoolers.

I know

A Post in Pics

Ever since I broke out the face paints at Abi's fourth birthday party, she has been begging me to paint her face. At one stage it was almost daily. It's faded away a bit now, I think maybe because we got these special paraben-free face paints and they're, um, not as good. Better living through chemistry and all of that.

Also, I got a bit sick of the time it took and the related mess which she probably picked up on. She hasn't asked for a couple of weeks and now I feel sad about it. I'll offer to do it tomorrow and I hope she takes me up on it; I hate that I get impatient with my darling girl sometimes. She has grown up so much this last year, I need to treasure every minute with her and really appreciate it when she wants to spend time with me.

Here are some photos anyway. My little painted lady.

Ha! Day two of my every day challenge. Am TWF (typing while feeding) though, so may use contracted-sentence-shorthand, okay?

Take-away night! Tonight is DH and my take-away and movie night. It keeps the romance alive, especially as we are watching some mindless action-y type thing tonight. We usually are as we are both usually exhausted and tonight we are also coping with DH's dodgy sinuses.

Mostly our movie nights include a baby/toddler waking up somewhere in the middle and being boobed back to sleep. At least she goes back to sleep now, in the early days she sometimes sat in my lap clapping her way through Wall-E or similar. Actually, for the last few weeks I think she might have forgotten it was Friday, as she has been sleeping for longer.

It's funny, I remember writing a lot about Abi's shitty sleep and what we were trying to do about it. Evie is not as craptacular, but she's no paragon. She still wakes anywhere from two to five times a night and sometimes takes quite a while to settle back down again. I just kind of get on with it now, don't really think about it. I know she'll sleep through eventually, and I don't plan to night-wean her until she's two or so. I'll accept another few years of broken sleep, especially if I have another one...

Did you get that? Yep, another one. I want one. Like, I really, really want one. Just one more. I'm finally getting the hang of this whole mothering thing and I love it more and more. And I want to give birth again.

DH however, does not. In fact, we were discussing contraception stuff and he confided, "if you got pregnant now I'd be so sad". I laid it all out for him; how I'd love another one of our babies, how it's really only the first year that's hard, how much fun it is seeing our two girls interact, how much I adore them etc etc. He is unconvinced. However, he is not insisting on a vasectomy either. I have asked him to just think about it until the end of the year and see if he thinks he can face another one. I've promised not to bring it up and also promised that if he really really can't bear the thought, then I would accept that and accept it without resentment. He is more important, our existing family is more important to me than another baby.

But oh, another baby!

The thing is, I think I look at our girls and think 'they're so beautiful, how could I not want more?'. He looks at them and thinks 'they're so beautiful, why would I want any more?' And then there are all the logistics and realities and there is no doubt that life is just getting easier.

So we'll see. We'll see.