Happy holidays nearly over

We have had such a lovely holiday.

 Hot, hot, hot NYE.  My beautiful sister set up a paddling pool and sprinkler for the kids at her otherwise-very-cool-20something party.  When Dylan heard he said, "what's a sprinkler?". Poor deprived children of water restrictions.

 Splashing on the path.

 I love this one.  Bathing beauty.

 Sharing an inter-generational interest in fart noises.  Something everyone can enjoy!

Okay 2012.  Show me what you've got.  I'm sceptical, but willing to be convinced.


We made stuff too.  My girls love their craft.

Abi's dinosaurs.

 Evie's...something?  Thing With 1000 Eyes.

Abi holding her girl riding a unicorn.

 She requested a better photo of said girl riding a unicorn.

I have many of these pictures.  Abi likes permanent records.

 Snow girl

 Outoor artistes

And introducing....Toby the dog!

Yes, we are now a family of five.  Eight if you count the guinea pigs and cat.  Which I don't really, to be honest (sorry guys).

Abi has been asking for a dog for a while, and I've always wanted one too, so I'd been browsing the rescue sites occasionally for the last six months or so.  After Christmas, I got more serious and found this little fellow up in Mount Macedon.  DH was not super enthusiastic, but very graciously aquiesced, although I did bulldoze him a bit.  Sorry about that my love.

Isn't he cute?  I think he looks like the fox*, Sir Didimus, from Labyrinth.  He's somewhere between five and seven, and apparently a Maltese/Shitzhu cross.  He's very fluffy in reality, but had a slightly wonky clip at the vet's to keep him cool.

Abi named him Toby after the dog in the Milly-Molly-Mandy books, which we are working our way through, a chapter a night.  She loves them, and so do I.  I have such strong memories of those stories from my own childhood and there is nothing worrying or scary in them at all.  We tried My Naughty Little Sister a while ago, but the whole 'naughty' concept upset my sensitive girl, so they were less successful.

MMM though is perfect.  And now we have our own Toby too.

         *            *           *          *         *           *           *            *            *            *           *

So here we are at the end of the holidays.  We still have a week and a half to go, but I am sad.  We have had such fun - lots of playing, watching tv, eating ice cream, seeing friends, library visits, swimming, relaxing in the mornings.  It's going to be hard to switch gears, that's for sure.

*I always thought he was a fox anyway, but apparantly not?  Some kind of small dog, it seems.

New arrivals

I don't think I've told my lovely readers (for you are all lovely, small and select group that you are) about the new residents at our house.  Here is one:

That's Billy.  His mate, Cuddles (not pictured) is bigger and a kind of rumply tortoiseshell.  I am very fond of him because he looks just like the guinea pig that used to be on Playschool on Wednesday when I was little.  Jack, of Jack and Jill.  We got them a couple of months ago from a shelter and they have been great.  Really tame and pretty and fun to watch.  As they are from a shelter they have been both desexed and microchipped, which is somehow comical.  DH says surely if you lose a guinea pig you just - in the nicest possible way - move on, so the microchipping seems a bit over the top.

Here's my other new baby.  Isn't she beautiful?  Her name's Cora, in case you were wondering.

And also in case you were wondering, no I am not usually the kind of person who names her appliances.  But the KitchenAid is so much more than an appliance!  She's a friend, really.  A friend that makes my kitchen look crap, and causes me to mutter with even more discontent than usual as I try to find things in my hopelessly overstuffed cupboards.  (A pantry!  A pantry!  My kingdom for a pantry!)

I chose Almond Cream over the flashier, more obvious colours.  Although I am almost swayed by that aquamarine one on your blog, Melissa.  I can't tell you how disgusted Abi was with my muted choice though.  She sat there looking at the brochure, swooning over the metallic purple and pastel pink and was totally underwhelmed when I pointed out my favourite.  

I looooooove Cora.  I use her at least four times a week and only have one attachment so far - the grater/slicer one.  I don't have a food processor/blender anymore as it broke, but with Cora and her unnamed friend the cream bamix lurking behind her there, I don't need it.  

I decided Cora needed some new friends, so as our old four-slice toaster was only half-working, and as our ancient blue plastic kettle was, well, really ugly, I got these:

Couldn't get cream, sadly.  But maybe that would have been too matchy, anyway.

Here is something else that happened in our house last week.  We went from this:

to this:

Can you see the little bob?  Abi has been agitating for months to get her hair cut and we finally succumbed.  And she looks adorable.  It really suits her and is so much easier.  I am a bit shamefaced that we held out for so long.  It's her hair after all.

Well, tv time is over, so off I go.  To make salad.  Not in Cora, sadly.

Funny girl

Abi; on watching me pick cradle cap out of Evie's hair; "What's Evie got in her hair?"

Me: "Cradle cap."

Abi; next day; same situation; "Has Evie got some more...um...baby crap in her hair?"

A Post in Pics

Ever since I broke out the face paints at Abi's fourth birthday party, she has been begging me to paint her face. At one stage it was almost daily. It's faded away a bit now, I think maybe because we got these special paraben-free face paints and they're, um, not as good. Better living through chemistry and all of that.

Also, I got a bit sick of the time it took and the related mess which she probably picked up on. She hasn't asked for a couple of weeks and now I feel sad about it. I'll offer to do it tomorrow and I hope she takes me up on it; I hate that I get impatient with my darling girl sometimes. She has grown up so much this last year, I need to treasure every minute with her and really appreciate it when she wants to spend time with me.

Here are some photos anyway. My little painted lady.

Happy 7 months to my little clapping girl,

Darling Evie,
You still love to clap and wanted to add a video of you doing just that, but it won't upload, sigh.

Lots of things have been happening for you this month, and we have discovered the joy of Baby Led Weaning. Why didn't anyone tell Mummy about this earlier. It is so easy, it feels like there must be something wrong with it. Instead of laboriously cooking, blending and freezing in little tiny plastic cubes which always fall out of the freezer and hit me on the foot, I steam some broccoli, cut some avocado and paw paw and hey presto! Breakfast (or lunch or dinner) in a bowl! So far you enjoy any food that you can feed yourself, stuff off a spoon is regarded with more suspicion.
You are very good at getting stuff into your mouth, which is a wonderful life skill, and one that you enjoy practicing on any number of lethally tiny Barbie shoes belonging to your big sister. I am always fishing stuff out of your mouth and you are not that co-operative either, and who could blame you when there are delicious things like vinyl butterfly stickers and tiny hammering tacks to eat?

You are the happiest baby ever, always ready with a smile or a laugh, especially at your big sister who you find hilarious. You love to chat to us now and make all kinds of funny sounds, sometimes so loudly that Abi asks me to turn up Playschool, or her cd as 'Evie is making ots of noise!'. We all love to hear you chatting though and you seem to enjoy taking part in the conversation.

Right now you are asleep in your Kozy sling and I am bouncing you on the fitball in the hopes you will stay asleep for a little while. You were up at 5.30am this morning, and even though Mummy tried to pretend you weren't and to convince you to snuggle on the couch for a bit longer you were too keen to get up and on with the day.

I love you so much my beautiful, wonderful girl. I am astonished every day at my luck in getting to be your mother.

Mummy

Here are some more photos of both my gorgeous girls at a fantastic park we went to last week.

Hey! Where did that preschooler come from and why is she holding my baby?

39 weeks

Today I am 39 weeks pregnant. I remarked to DH this morning that that means there is an actual big baby inside me right now, bigger than Abi when she was born. It's a bit of a weird thought; there's my baby and I don't even know him/her yet. But there he/she is, right there under my skin only centremetres away.

I still feel okay. My pelvic instability is still hanging around and has kind of moved to the front now so it is making rolling over in bed, not to mention heaving myself off Abi's futon, really difficult. I'm sure I've got the old pregnant waddle too and I think maybe the baby has dropped, although not engaged as I can feel the head moving around if I push gently on it. I've become pretty good at the old belly 'palps' since one of the midwives showed me how to find the head during an appointment.

Yesterday was a big day for Abi and I. First we went to my work Christmas party in the morning which was a very nice way to finish the year. Then Abi fell asleep for 10 minutes in the car on the way home and I couldn't transfer her into bed without her waking up, so that was it in the nap department. Bit of a problem because we had our meeting with her kinder teacher yesterday and I wanted her to be in good form.

As it turned out, it was fine. She didn't do anything crazy like talk to her new teacher, but she did make eye contact, wave goodbye and look extremely interested in all the wonderful Montessori activities displayed on the shelves. I know this teacher and school well and I have complete faith in both of them. Very, very sound philosophically and she has been teaching at the same school for 15 years. The school itself is a renovated original little primary school, so it is really charming with lots of light and lovely wooden floors.

DH came too and he loved the centre which I was glad about as he hadn't been there before. We both think she'll do really well there once she settles in, which may take a while. She definitely finds it harder to separate from me than DH, which is something I'm sure I've created - sometimes I think I've built a bit of a negative dynamic between us. DH was shocked when I said that and he thinks it's just that she prefers me to any other person, so if the option's there... Don't know if I entirely agree, but it was lovely of him to reassure me.

I have had quite a few worries about her separating from me at kinder and I spoke to her teacher about it all who reminded me that most separation anxiety stuff will be coming from me, not her. Of course, I totally know that when it's about other people's children, but not mine, obviously! My child is a delicate and unique flower and cannot be treated like other children, dammnit!

So the teacher said that I had to feel completely comfortable and trusting of her and to know that she would take care of Abi, and that Abi would be absolutely fine. I felt so much better after this talk and going to the centre and seeing how quickly Abi relaxed there. I'm sure I"ll still struggle a bit, but I need to trust my girl and know that it is a safe and wonderful place for her in my heart as well as my head.

Anyway, she's not starting until the end of February, so we've got a couple of months yet. I'm really going to miss her, sniff. She'll only be staying for half an hour for the first week anyway and gradually working up to the five full mornings, so I guess the baby and I will just be going for a quick walk around the block or something before going to pick her up. I won't have too much time to pine.

She was very thrilled that she got to pick out a special kinder hat. I was surprised, she picked the one that I thought was the most boring - a navy blue legionnaires cap with the kinder logo on the front. She looks extremely adorable in it though; a real kinder girl. She wanted to wear it today but I told her it was special for kinder, and we hung it up on the hook together.

My house is messy. I should be cleaning it up. I miss my cleaner.

I am also sending love and healing vibes to my beautiful internet friend Averil who just had a baby under less-than-optimal circumstances. Kisses to you and your gorgeous new little one, sweetie.

It's Term

Here I am at 37 weeks! 37 weeks and 2 days to be exact which is when Abi was born so since 1.33pm today I am more pregnant than I have ever been. We are trekking into the unknown here folks. Who knows how far we'll get?





I am luxuriating in not having to cook dinner or even think about what we're going to have tonight. My lovely Mum and Dad came up to visit today for the first time since Mum got home from China bearing four different yummy dinners plus chocolate chip biccies and zucchini and cheese muffins. I was thinking they were for after the baby was born and after gloating over my deliciously filled freezer, said to Mum that I hoped I'd be able to resist eating them before the birth when I didn't want to cook which is always these days. Mum looked shocked and said, "Oh no, they're for now! I'm going to make lots of other meals for after the baby." Love love love my mum

And love her lasagne, which is what we're hoe-ing into tonight.

I can't believe we are so close to the end. I am getting really excited about meeting this little one, every time I do my relaxation/visualisation I start getting these happy excited butterflies in my stomach. I was worried that this was counterproductive, but I saw my Calmbirth instructor yesterday at an ABA thing and she said no it was wonderful that I was so excited. She said that's very different hormonally from fear or anxiety, so I was reassured. Come on my butterfly baby! I just cannot wait to see your beautiful little face and smell your soft, soft skin.

Abi is extremely interested in all things New Baby. Last weekend we went to one of the (three) lovely toy shops up here in the hills and she chose a pair of yellow ducky pom-pom socks and a wrist rattle as her big sister present for the baby. She knows the new baby has a present for her (a soft toy dog in a toy carrier with a vet medical set) but I think she's a bit confused; we also let her choose a little toy wand for herself and she seems to think that's the present for her. She insisted on packing it into the baby's hospital bag so it's sitting in there with all the tiny clothes.

I loved packing that bag. I have an oatmeal striped little short-sleeved onsie with a matching hat and a choice of two hand-knitted cardies for the trip home from hospital. Big-sister-present socks will also be worn. My own bags are getting there too; on Tuesday Mum is coming shopping with me to buy some new toiletries etc, and I still need to finalise the labour bag. So stuff is getting crossed off my list.

I just want us all here and safe and tucked up together in the birth centre room. DH said the other night that it will be so so sweet to see Abi giving her presents and cuddling her new brother/sister. He watches her at music with the baby brother of a friend who she just loves. She is so gentle and kind with him, it is beautiful to watch.

My lovely friend Mama Cass asked if we'd taken any cheesy/cute photos of Abi kissing the bump and I realised we hadn't, so to remedy that ...

No actual kiss ones, we couldn't get the kiss to last for long enough for the camera to catch up. Ah well, still pretty adorable I think.

Must go and help bathe my child.

Oooh! All laboury type vibes going to gorgeous Averil! Can't wait for news...

Let's head down to Georgia, la la la

Yes our baby has turned! At least, he/she had at the last check up 2 weeks ago, I have another one tomorrow and was going to leave updating until then to make sure but I can't sleep this morning and have a rare, toddler-free hour or so. Let's all hope there have been no flipping shenanigans between then and now. I don't think so, due to where the movements are, but still a bit paranoid.

Nearly 36 weeks now so really at the tail end. In fact, tomorrow will mark the exact stage in this pregnancy that my waters broke in my last one. On Valentines Day. Ahh Abi, spoiling Mummy and Daddy's time alone right from the beginning...

I wonder how I'll go if I go right to 40+ weeks with this one. I've always felt I avoided those super-uncomfortable, last stages of pregnancy last time. I never really felt that huge, never couldn't shave my legs or cut my toenails, never got any stretchmarks, never needed help getting off the couch etc etc. This pregnancy though has definitely been more uncomfortable with the pelvic instability and I feel more pressure and discomfort when walking. I've pretty much given up my big walks, although if I didn't have to push a pram with a 2.9 year old I could probably still manage them.

Speaking of pelvic instability I went for craniosacral therapy and it was miraculous. It really made a huge difference to how uncomfortable I was feeling as well as making me feel really positive generally and as though I was getting everything into tip top shape for a nice, easy birth. I'm hoping that, along with the Calmbirth course and practice I've done/am doing that I will be able to birth this baby with no intervention. The main thing is that I avoid another induction.

I'm on maternity leave now which is glorious, glorious and have a looong to-do list that I am slowly ticking off. I am having trouble about Christmas though, as I love Christmas; doing all the planning and thinking about how the day will go. Thing is, I don't know whether I'll still be pregnant, have a teeny newborn, or, best fun of all, be actually in labour. Right now the plan is that everyone will come up to our place for lunch on Christmas Eve, but I don't have to actually do anything. I might make something if I'm still pregnant though. I saw this yummy desert called Eton Mess which looks easy, summery and delicious so I think that'll be the go.

We are mostly organised here presents-wise. Abi's presents are all bought and I might start wrapping them tonight. Still need to get some family ones, but several are done, including my hard-to-buy-for, world-travelling brother. DH and I don't do big Christmas presents as our anniversary is very soon after and we do special themed anniversary ones instead.

I think I'm still in a bit of denial that soon I will be the mother of TWO children. Abi is very excited in theory and full of love for "our new baby", with lots of pats, kisses and professions of eternal love. She has many plans about what she will do with the baby including sharing baths, sharing her favourite ice cream (which she has had ONCE, boy did it make an impression), carrying him/her in the hugabub and other charming unrealities. However, she objects strongly whenever she sees me with my hands on my belly and moves them away firmly saying, "Mummy no touch our new baby." Not sure that's such a good sign.

She is still going through a very sensitive and emotional stage, although it is less intense than it was a couple of weeks ago. She even had her very first toddler melt-down a week or so ago, DH was flabbergasted and I was surprised myself. It was over nothing really, she wanted a drink of water but also wanted to push it away - I ended up just sitting on the floor with her and cuddling for about half-an-hour. Hasn't happened again thankfully.

BUT, and I can't believe I haven't mentioned this before now, she has finally, FINALLY, started reliably sleeping through the night. I think I had just stopped hoping for this to ever happen as it actually took a few nights in a row before I really took it in. She had a little while where she'd wake up and need me to lay her back down again, but now she mostly just sleeps straight through with the odd restless moment. I, on the other hand, still wake up two or three times a night for no reason, sigh.

I know she'll probably go through periods of wakefulness again, but at least I now know she can do it. And all our co-sleeping, gentle parenting nonsense hasn't created a child who can't put herself back to sleep, so take that Tizzie Hall. She still needs me to help her fall asleep initially, but we don't feed to sleep, just cuddle and I tell her one story and sing her one song. The stories change at her request but are mostly at the moment revolving around going to buy ice cream together. It's funny, she never requests actual ice-cream when we are out. She probably hasn't worked out you can just go and get it whenever you want, that there's not just one magical place which only comes to the top of the tree every six months or so.

We were going to go to the pool today as forecast is 36 degrees, yuk yuk yuk, but it is looking very windy and unpleasant. We'll see how we go.

I promised a belly shot and am determined to take one today. In the meantime...

Family fun times

We have just been enjoying 10 days of Family Fun Time as DH took some well-earned and much needed time off from work. It didn't all run completely smoothly but the good definitely outweighed the bad.

First: the bad (or less-good). We had planned to spend the weekend down at Red Hill while my parents were overseas but the forecast was for four days of solid rain and 13 degree temperatures. Red Hill is always colder and wetter than Melbourne, so it was not looking good. I imagined trying to entertain a toddler away from most of her toys, books and out of reach of interesting indoor activities and was afraid, very afraid. So we changed our plans and tried to think of nice things to do around our (warmer) house.

We went out for morning tea and looked in the toyshop, went to the library and did lots of playdough and cooking. Then it was time for our big indoor trip to the Children's Museum. Yay, I thought. Plenty of room to run around and lots of things to do. Well worth the 40 minute drive and having to pay for parking.

Off we went and alarm bells started to ring when the museum car park was full. Oh well, we thought, maybe everyone is at Imax for the school holidays. We went to the overflow carpark via a quick detour through the city (aaargh, hook turns! Haven't done one of those in years) to get money to pay for parking. Got out, walked over to the museum, failed to really process that there sure were a lot of people hanging around under those big Pompeii exhibition banners...

There must have been three hundred people in the queue for entrance tickets. Seriously, three hundred. And no line for people who just wanted to go to the Museum, Goddamnit. If we'd known it would be so busy we could have bought tickets online, but we didn't, so we hadn't.

Abi was already starting to flag and after it was clear that it would be at least a forty-five minute wait in the queue, we decided to cut our losses and go to the pretty cool adventure playground next door. It is a good playground, but I don't know that it's worth driving 40 minutes for and then paying 12 bucks for parking. Although we were glad of our parking space when it started to pour with rain again and we retreated to our warm cosy car to eat the packed lunches I had made with such optimism that morning.

Abi had fun though. See?

The following Wednesday was a beautiful sunny day so we decided to visit Chesterfield Farm, a children's farm near our house. We had often seen it while driving and talked about visiting but had never been. Abi was keen to see the guinea pigs, which are always her favourite things so off we went.

We saw a cow being milked:

And then tried to find the guinea pigs. Sadly it turned out that although their were guinea pigs on the farm they were free range ones and in spite of DH's most concentrated efforts, we couldn't catch one. Adorable baby rabbits were an acceptable alternative:

We bought some food to feed the bigger animals, but I really didn't think Abi would be brave enough to do it. I was totally wrong though, look at my confident girl! So, so proud of her.

Over the weekend we went to stay with my parents who had just come back from their Europe trip. It was lovely lovely lovely to see them and Abi was so excited. Mummy was definitely fourth man on the totem pole with adoring Nanny, Dranpa and Daddy around. Except, obviously, if she fell over or woke up in the middle of the night. Lucky Mummy gets all the best jobs.

On Saturday we went to the zoo and had such a great time, even though it was very cold and windy. There was plenty to see including the gorgeous butterflies, elephants and some adorable gibbons which obligingly sat right up near the viewing window for us. It was a family group including a little baby which swung and jumped and cuddled its mother in a way that was almost calculatedly cute. Abi was especially delighted because it had 'mi' with its Mummy several times.

We looked at animals for about an hour and a half and then went to have delicious yum cha at a new zoo restaurant which was having its very first day the day we were there. Risky? Possibly, but we were glad we took the risk as it was delicious. Expensive, but worth it, and beat hot chips and battered savs effortlessly.

Unfortunately just as we were getting ready to go, my thoroughly over-excited 2 year old tripped while running and whacked her forehead on the concrete ground. We got ice onto it straight away but decided to take her to the Children's Hospital to be checked just in case. I was imagining observation and x-rays and cat scans and all manner of horrors, but by the time we got to the hospital (just five minutes from the zoo thankfully) she seemed completely fine and her chatty, bouncy self. The triage nurse sent us to the after-hours GP clinic after checking her pupils etc and she was soon given a clean bill of health by the GP there. We didn't even have to wait that long, and our most difficult task was keeping her from climbing on all the furniture and from coming to close to a little boy who looked like he had some kind of fungal infection.

Not a great ending to our first zoo outing, but we concentrated on all the lovely parts:

Then when we got back to Mum and Dad's she burnt her fingers on a light globe. Sigh. 10 minutes under the cold tap stopped any blisters though, but I was exhausted by the end of the day.

Mammoth post, but before I go, I have to record that my littlest baby is quite the dancer! I first started feeling little pokes about three weeks ago, but now I can feel him/her bouncing around from the inside and out. I love it so so much and I must appreciate every little poke, prod and roll of this, my last, my treasured, my darling baby. Mummy already loves you so much, precious one.

15 weeks, 4 days in pictures

15 weeks

This is the first actual belly shot I've ever taken. I'm really not sure why I didn't take any when I was pregnant with Abi. I thought about it, but somehow never got around to it. I don't think I was self-conscious but obviously there was something going on. I kind of wish I had now so I could compare them but oh well, at least I'll have a few from this pregnancy.

It's the same with breastfeeding pictures, for all the hours I spent/spend breastfeeding I have very few photos. Maybe it's at least partly because I'm the person who takes photos in our family, DH never seems to think of it, so unless I specifically suggest taking a photo it doesn't get taken. I think I'll try to be a bit more pro-active with our next baby as there are actually very few photos of Abi and I together. Bit sad really, we did take some at her second birthday party but she was sick and looks sad and ready for bed in all of them. Our pink dresses are nice though.

Things that wail "mi" in the night

So we have bitten the night weaning bullet around here over the last couple of weeks. A quick background: Abi has slept through the night once since she was born and usually wakes up every couple of hours or so. She has/will occasionally do a four, five or even six hour stretch when she first goes to sleep, but after that first wake up (anywhere between 11pm and 3am) she will be awake every two hours.

After the tearing out of hair and trying multitudes of different strategies over her first 18 months I just admitted defeat and tried not to think about it too much. Nothing we did or didn't do made any difference and I have always been adamant that I will never leave her to cry or put her in a cot. So the traditional methods don't work for our family and I knew there was no point going to a sleep school. We co-sleep as part of our parenting philosophy and it is not something I am willing to compromise.

That's not to say I haven't often fallen into despair during the early hours of the morning, especially during those times, now mercifully behind us, when she would wake up and stay awake for anything up to an hour and a half. The only thing that comforted me during those times was the thought that "Thank God I don't have a newborn as well"...hang on, guess I won't be able to use that one for much longer.

So to night weaning. It's time, she's nearly two and a half, I'm still available for cuddles, songs etc, I know she's not insecure, we're just turning off the boob tap between midnight and six. I got this idea from a gentle parenting site written by an American paediatrician who points out that it is those six hours which are the most important for adults.

It hasn't gone too badly really. We started two weeks ago and have certainly had some bad times where she would wail "Mi, mummy more mi" over and over again, interspersed with screams of rage and flingings of bodies on beds. For a while I sported a nice shiner on my left eye from a back-of-head-meets-cheekbone contact during one of these sessions. At some point though each night she would subside into pathetic sobs and say "Abi tu'ool [cuddle] mummy" and I would know we were through the worst of it.

This is still going on to some extent and we have had a bout of gastro in the middle that hasn't helped, but generally I am standing firm and getting more solid blocks of sleep than I have had since she was born. I am cautiously confident that we will at least be down to one wake up per night by the time baby number two arrives, and hopeful we might be down to none, or at least no feeds.

I wanted to post a belly shot, but our camera has mysteriously disappeared. I will do so as soon as it turns up.

Just a nice Friday

Today I decided we would have a low-key day, as I have been feeling lately that I do way too much rushing of my girl. Even just to do fun stuff like meeting friends at the park still means I'm chivvying her into her shoes and organising snacks etc. So today we had no plans and I could let her meander along however she wanted.

So we got up at a civilised 7.45, had a nice relaxed breakfast and then pottered around doing laundry chores (me) and playing with various toys (her). We also put some bread on to bake in our fabulous new breadmaker which Abi always enjoys.

She started saying she wanted to "Ee my Vreya" (trans: see my friend Freya) so I texted her mum but sadly they were on the train to the city. Abi was philosophical and accepted a walk to find treasures culminating in a babycino and muffin with Mummy instead. We had a lovely walk and I was reminded how lucky I was to have this amazing child trotting along next to me commenting on everything, making agreeing noises when I talked and finding all kinds of interesting things to put into her special purple bag. She is such a joy, I am totally entranced by her.

Our favourite raspberry and white chocolate muffin was on offer at our local cafe, so we tucked in to one to share, although I almost wished I'd bought two as I had to move fast to get any of the delicious chocolate and raspberry bits. Then home for a delicious cuddly nap and up for a quick lunch before heading outside to play chase chase chase with bath baby. She recently got a new bath baby as the old one could no longer go in the bath, and she was very torn as to which baby would do the chasing. She tried various configurations; her holding old bath baby and running while I chased her with the new one; swapping babies; me holding both and making them run along the deck (oh my back...), but none really satisfied her. So I chased her for a while and then we went to check out the stones under the washing line.

Abi soon got involved in a game she invented herself where she scooped up the stones on a spade, carefully climbed the steps and walked across the deck to the bird bath before tipping the stones into the water. Then she would run back, carefully climb down the stairs and collect some more stones. This kept her busy for about 15 minutes and I was able to hang out the washing without needing to be involved at all. It reminded me of a story my mum tells about me at around the same age - we were down at Phillip Island and I spent 20 minutes scooping up sand in my spade and walking down to the water to drop it in. Mum said it was fantastic, she could sit and read her book, while glancing up to see me happy and occupied.

At one stage Abi fell on the stairs and said "Abi fall down, my rocks fall down" in a very sad voice. We had a cuddle and I was thinking how far her language has progressed over the last month or so. She uses 'my' all the time now so often her sentences are gramatically totally correct, like when she says "Where my drink of water?" Okay, she misses the is, but still a great sentence. I love chatting to her and I can understand everything she says now, which wasn't the case a couple of months ago.

Pregnancy is still going well. No real morning sickness, same as with Abi, but I do get hungrier and I can see a bit of a bump now too when I turn sideways. When I lie on my back I can feel the fundus too, that started at about 9 weeks. I don't have another appointment until July and as I'm only planning on one ultrasound, we've got a way to go before we see this little one. I don't really have any sense about whether it's a boy or girl; with Abi I thought she was a girl from the very beginning although I started to second guess myself towards the end. I don't think I can tap into the intuition properly this time because I'd really love a little boy especially as I'm pretty sure two is it for us. So I think that will influence any feelings I may have.

It's not a strong preference at all as I'd also love Abi to have a sister, so boy or girl is fine. I just want everything to be okay.

I feel right about stopping at two children. I'm so happy to be pregnant, but I don't really want to do it again, especially all the thinking about timing etc. I always thought I wanted three children, but I realised that what I really wanted was three grown-up children. As I would never want less than a three year gap having three would just mean the baby part would drag on for so long, really longer than I want to deal with. I'd like to go back to full-time Montessori teaching one day as well as do some further study and God knows I'm not getting any younger (37 in July).

So two is good. Two is perfect. Two for joy.

Oh it's been such a long long time! I did start a draft about Abi's birthday party last month, but can't find it anywhere. I'm such a computer whiz. I was going to put photos of her cake and everything. Right now though I don't have all our photos due to tedious computer changing which seems to have been going on for about six months. I even use a Mac operating system now which is mostly the same, but sometimes has some unexpected differences, so I am still a bit suspicious.

Anyway I just can't be bothered trying to catch up, so I'll start with today. Today we went to play at a friend's house and the kids had lots of fun. Abi took her usual 30/45 minutes to warm up but then was dashing around with the other two having a great time. She is always very keen to report back to me about what ever happens, so there was a lot of "Mummy? Ryan noise! Vreya jump bed! Baby fall down, aaahHAHhahah, baby dry, baby have mi Abi." Not a real baby, I hasten to add, just another in the long line of babies that Abi feels she must take care of. Then as we were leaving "Mummy tie shoes, Abi tuddle Mummy" Dear little voice, how I love it.

Holidays, holidays la la laaa. I have already eaten too much chocolate, so I hope no-one else gives me easter eggs. Abi enjoyed her first easter egg hunt at my work, I took an hilarious series of photos which I will also add when I can. That's all I can write right now as Abi is awake again after a late nap and needs my attention.

Sucker parents

Yesterday DH and I took Abi to a toy shop because we are insane loving parents who want the best for our child.

The impetus for the toy shop visit was that we had just taken back a bathable baby to the toy library which Abi adored and kept asking about. She was also quite taken with an extremely creepy looking doll in a cafe, which of course she also had to leave behind. So we decided to go and buy her a new baby. I had seen little cheapy ones at this nice shop that she liked so we headed up to Sassafras to go shopping.

Well, I watched my daughter fall in love in that shop. And not with the little cheapy doll I offered her either; no, she went immediately for the gorgeous, newborn-sized, $70 baby on the shelf above.

She held this doll and gazed lovingly into its eyes while patting and stroking its cheek. She stopped gazing only to kiss it and snuggle it against her face. She looked like I must have looked on the day she was born. I tried a bit of bait-and-switch, but after playing with some trains for a while she turned huge blue eyes on me and said "baby?" in a quivering little voice.

That was it, DH was gone. He said, as he watched Abi cradle the doll, "There's no way I can take it away from her now" so we bought it. And she loves it. Just adores her new baby.

At the moment, her old baby is definitely second best, but I think she'll come around to both of them. She's also getting a bathable baby for Christmas from my brother which makes it especially silly that we bought the expensive one, but we have a bit of extra money and it was so lovely to through caution to the winds and get her something she loves so much. I must say, it's a gorgeous doll. I'm quite partial to cuddling it myself.

My baby and her baby

Welcome to the house of germs

Yes, sickness rears its ugly head once again in my house.

Both Husband and Daughter are leaking from several orifices and in the case of Daughter, are insisting on being carried around and cuddled at all times. I took Abi to the doctor yesterday to discover that it is just a virus, no ear infection, no chest infection and it will hang around for at least another three days. Can we give her anything? No. Oh, except fluids. Lots and lots of fluids. And when Abi hears 'drink lots of fluids' she hears 'remain clamped to Mummy's boob all night and most of the day'. Sigh.

Abi and DH have been getting sick every second weekend since about, oh, the Middle Ages, it seems. We've had a variety of colds, coughs and just to shake things up, gastro over Cup Weekend. I have caught none of it, thanks to my early-childhood worker Immune System Of Steel which is good, but also bad, as no-one ever feels sorry for me or makes me soup.

Surely this is the last of it for the year? Surely.

My mum is selfishly in China at the moment gallivanting around teaching English. I miss her and so does Abi who keeps saying "Nanny?" whenever we are going in the car. She has now started following it with "Nanny" said while shaking her head and screwing up her face.

Ooops, child has woken up. I'll just record what I think is the cutest thing ever: Abi has started telling us stories and she now has her most understandable one yet. It goes like this; "Ma[n] ee[r] ee[r], ne[ck], che[st], Mummy Mummy [said with crying voice and face], mi[lk], [s]i[de].' This means - 'the man looked in my ear, then my other ear, then at my neck, then he listened to my chest. I cried 'Mummy Mummy' and then I had some milk and the other side' This is exactly what happened at the doctors and she came up with that story all by herself. Genius.

Shoes

Here are some of the adorable shoes my daughter regards as Shoes of Evil.



Here are the shoes she will wear.

At least I'm not raising an Imelda Marcos.

Happy Friday to me

And happy beginning of the holidays too. The two great things about my job are that I can take Abi with me and that I get paid through the school holidays without having to go in. I still do some work, but I can do it whenever and it is so lovely knowing there is nowhere I have to be. I could probably make more money somewhere else, but the conditions definitely make up for any pay deficiency.

Yesterday we had many Shoe Dramas. I didn't realise quite how dependent my daughter had become on her black My First Volleys until I decreed she could not longer wear them because; a) they were too small; and b) they had holes in them in the manner of Orphaned Urchin shoes. I put her adorable blue boots on and oh! the wailing! The furious shaking of feet! The possibly-on-purpose kicking of mummy in the hip!

She had quieted down a bit by the time we got to work but still looked at me with tragic blue eyes when I said it was time for her to walk. "noooo, nooo; boo, boo" she wailed (translation: "I do not care for these boots, Mother. They are stiff and clumpy, unlike my beloved, light-as-air Volleys") She walked gingerly around in them looking sad for a while before I gave in and took them off. Dirty socks it would be, I decided.

Mum and Dad managed to get them on her later with the twin incentives of gingerbread men and the park, but she didn't really get used to them. One foot would kind of turn out to the right and she'd follow it around in a circle like a fish with one fin. Bit pathetic, so we made an emergency stop at Target on the way home and picked up another pair of Volleys in the next size up. I had hoped to get red, but there were only black ones available.

She was really cranky getting out of the car as she'd been asleep and I tried to interest her in all the other pretty shoes ("Look darling! Butterflies! And sparkles! Or how about these pretty red Mary Janes?"), but only got further 'nooo's as well as a few "boosh"es, as she pushed the pretty shoes away. When she saw the black Volleys she grabbed them and said "Oosh" in a satisfied voice, so I admitted defeat and off we went to buy them.

This is the first time she's really showed me she wants something different from what I am offering her in a sustained and determined way. I suppose I should be celebrating her developing independence, but I can't help sighing for the days not that long ago when she would dociley accept whatever I chose to put on her feet. My darling darling girl is growing up.